First Things First

Before you even board a plane to Australia, there are a few things you should know. Me being a Yank and all, I have heard a few Australian phrases from American TV, movies, and other forms of media, but I have not had the good fortune of being friends or even acquainted with any native Aussies. Therefore, I find it my duty and pleasure to introduce and familiarize future adventurers to some of the lingustic differences between "American" English and that which will greet you Down Under.

Initially you may notice that something in Aussie speech sounds a bit different but you can't exactly pinpoint it. I find that this may described as punctuating each spoken sentence as if it were a question - the tone of voice always sounds a bit higher by the last word. It's one of those habits that you most likely will find yourself absorbing by osmosis and subsequently exhibiting in your own speech!

Unless you have been discovered alighting from the plane by a talent agent and are whisked off to appear in the next "Crocodile Dundee" installment, there is really no need to say "G'day mate" to every blond and bronzed friendly Aussie face that acknowledges your presence. I have been here for almost 2 months and have only heard this twice. Maybe it was spoken by foreigners who wanted to sound like fair dinkum Aussies! I'm not sure ... I think I was too stunned after actually hearing this to actually listen to what might have followed!

This being said, what I most commonly hear is:
"How are you going?" or what sounds like "Howaya?"

Other useful words/Aussie slang include:
"Heaps": lots, or tons.
"Hotel": usually they call bars and pubs a Hotel. The first one I went to was the Lansdown Hotel in Annandale. It is just a bar with no accomodation, but they do have a meat tray raffle on Friday evenings during happy hour!
"Pissed": at the Lansdown is where you get pissed. At first I confused this with "pissed off" but by itself it just means drunk.
"Lollies": candy. I discovered this at the movies when buying something to munch on.
"Eat in or take away?": For here or to go? No one says to go, but I think either one will do!
"Straight away": right away, immediately.
"Holiday": vacation. I am guessing that individual holidays are recognized by their formal names.
"Much of a muchness": something that doesn't matter either way, if there is a choice.
"Footy", "Brekkie", "Chokkie", "Chrissie", "Prezzy", Uni", "Cockie", etc: First, forgive me if I am spelling these wrong. I have seen them spelled with "y" and "ie" at the end. These mean football, breakfast, chocolate, Christmas, present, university, and cockroach, respectively. Australians have an apparent fondness for making diminutive forms of as many words as seemingly possible.
"Flat white", "Long black": Coffee terms that still remain somewhat of a mystery to me. I will write more on the coffee scene another day!

These are just a few that I have heard on a regular basis, but there are hundreds more, and they are indeed fun to read about! Try these websites for starters:
Koala Net
Aussie Slang
Strine and Australian Slang

One last bit of language advice ... never, under any circumstances, refer to the small bag that you clip around your waist as a "fanny pack".

Cheers!

Craig's List Mishap

The lengths to which people will go to save some of their hard earned money on a bargain buy, I discovered, is quite astonishing and sometimes puzzling. As it was, I was under the mistaken impression that there are some things that people will not spend the aforementioned money on. But as they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure ...
... one of these items of trash/treasure was my several years old yet not often used Total Gym 1600, which I reluctantly advertised on Craig's List (a San Francisco/Bay Area classified ads site), thinking that there was no way anyone would even inquire about it. It was old, it was plain (no bells or whistles), it was hawked by Chuck Norris and Christy Brinkley for pete's sake! So imagine my delight when I received immediate and numerous replies. Most of the potential buyers lived relatively close, within a 5 or 10 mile radius. But there was one man who lived in Sacramento, which is about 200 kilometers and 2 hours driving (in optimal conditions) from where I was. Needless to say I was surprised that he was so willing to drive this distance, and I should have either told him it was sold or there were many others that had already asked about it, but I couldn't lie. Plus, his email manner was exceedingly polite and he seemed genuine.
We arranged a day and time to meet for the exchange, and when the time came and went, I attempted to contact him. It was not unusual for a buyer to fail to show up or call, but since he was so adamant about buying the item, I thought it best to see what happened. It turned out that he was in a car accident! He was physically fine, thank goodness ... so I didn't feel so guilty when almost laughing about this unfortunate, luckless, and thrifty (and subsequently reneging) soul who only wanted to tone his triceps. I hope that he found a Total Gym that didn't cost him another deductible.

Be Prepared?

Oh SOOO much time has passed and there is so much to say and so many things have happened, passed, transpired, occurred ... I'm not sure if the synapses in my brain can fire sufficiently and Efficiently enough to recall all that I have witnessed and/or been a part of in the past couple of months! Everything from the very first item sold in our stateside apartment to finding the perfect Sydney pizza has been a part of the transformation from the "I have lived in the same state in the same country all my life" Californian to the "I am moving to a place I have never been - thank God they speak English!!" international naive traveler/migrant. Despite what anyone may say, if you have not done this before, I strongly believe (now) that nothing or no one can truly prepare you for something like this. Kind of like when I was going to Japan and everyone that I knew that had been there said "oh, you will be fine - people in the big cities all speak English and there are English signs ... " That is one of the most optimistic statements ever made! But I digress ... the point is that you think you are prepared, but moving to another country is an amazing and overwhelming and insane and life altering experience. You should try it.